David: God is omnipotent. That means he can do anything he wants to do.
Judah: Can he eat all the junk food he wants?
David: Yes.
Judah: Can he stretch his tongue over his head so far that it touches his butt?
David: Hmm...
Judah: Can he tie his penis in a knot?
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"Could God microwave a burrito so hot that He, Himself couldn't eat it?" - Homer Simpson
I want to know what David said next!
David just wrote it down and then brought it straight to me. We were laughing so hard and then I decided we should try to attempt to answer it. It went something like this:
Me: "Does God even have a body?"
David: "Yeah, I think he does. The holy spirit doesn't have one, but we were made in God's image."
Me: But maybe he doesn't have genitalia, or if he does he has female genitalia.
David: "Yeah, if he has a penis, I don't know why ne needs it."
Judah will probably be in therapy soon.
Remember the Deep Thought: "If God lives in us like some people say, I hope he likes enchiladas because that's what he's getting!"
I don't know if you ever heard Phil Hendrie, but he has "guests" on his show which are just him talking into a different mic and switching between himself and the guest character. The guest always has some crazy premise which aggravates people into calling in to yell at them. I forget the point of this one story, but his "guest" kept saying "Jesus was smooth down there...like a Ken doll."
This God's body thing has opened a whole new area of confusion and logic for me to dwell on.
I'll close with a little song we use to sing in primary (elementary) school:
Does your dick hang low?
Does it wobble to and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot?
Can you tie it in a bow?
Can you stick it up your bum,
Like a piece of chewing gum?
Does your dick - hang - low.
We had a song like that, but it went:
Do your balls hang low
Can you swing them to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you swing them over your shoulder
Like a continental holder
Do your balls hang low...
I never knew what a continental holder was.
Last week someone told me that I was more of a man than my boss will ever be, and I was glad. I translated it into, "I have a bigger set", which I do.
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