Sunday, November 30, 2008

why the fear re: gay marriage?

My friend Benjamin posted this and he stated my feelings pretty exactly.

I just don't get this. Why are these parents so afraid to talk to their seven year old about gay marriage? If my 6 year old came home from school talking about a book called "King and King", about two princes who married each other, I would consider that a priceless opportunity to talk about homosexuality and heterosexuality--about human sexuality, about safe bodies, about wise choices, etc. etc. Because to me this is a huge difficulty/danger zone for people in general, and the problems/dangers aren't really about homosexuality vs. heterosexuality. The problems are about boundaries, and clear communication, and the long term results of short term choices, and so forth.

I wish my parents, or some caring adult, had been willing to talk openly with me about human sexuality when I was six and seven years old, and when I was 8 and 9 and 10 and 11 and 12. I think such conversations would have prevented a lot of problems for me.

Do you understand this? Can you enlighten me a little. I wish I could sit down with this couple and just ask them lots of questions. It sounds like they are ... afraid about something. I want to know what that is. I'm curious as to whether their fear is justified, and whether it is effectively directed (that is: I wonder if their fear is really about what they think it's about.). They also seem to be under the impression that they can protect their children. But I agree with Dan Allender. We can't protect our children, we can only enstory them. I wish that this couple would focus less on protecting, and more on enstorying. Or maybe they aren't afraid at all--maybe it's something else. They seem like a fairly reasonable, nice couple. I just don't get what they are talking about.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

gratitudinal list

Graditudinal List:

-waking up to my kids who have crept into our bed sometime during the night and they’re sleeping cuddled up together like bunny rabbits
-these rad boots from David
-the perspective of third-party observers
-hot running water
-my cashmere sweater that was $11 at Buffalo Exchange
-coffee and tea
-our couch
-running endorphins
-MAC Ruby Woo
-laughing regularly and exhaustedly at hilariousness from friends
-breaking the cycle
-having so many people I admire
-the way my little boy tells stories
-watching my little girl play mommy to her babydolls
-our wonderful upstairs neighbor
-thinking that living in Seattle is like living in the garden of Eden
-loving cloudiness (comes in handy here)
-David + ten years
-more amazing movies out there than I can keep up with
-Dave Eggers and M. Scott Peck
-Supergrass and Rachmoninoff
-In N Out burgers

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

you got a minute?

I love this clip of the guy doing all Beyonce's moves perfectly! I think Beyonce is preternatural, like a unicorn.

Next, here is a kitty squealing and squirming. I can't contain myself.

Next up: Music my dad likes. If he wasn't listening to Rush Limbaugh, he was listening to the Gaither Trio, Statler Brothers, or this guy.

Now here is Leslie Hall in a karaoke booth. I love how nonchalant that guy is. He reminds me of home.

Okay, here's my last favorite thing for today, this girl singing..."Secret Ambition" by Michael W. Smith! Ryan wasn't sure if it was funny or not. I think it is though.

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it. Oh oh oh oh oh.

Monday, November 24, 2008

david's morning

David and Jona send each other stuff they write as a way to keep their writing mojo up, like having a goal. This is what David wrote Jona about what happened this morning.

"I was out working until 3:30 am. When I got back, my bed was full of sprawling Drury bodies, so I climbed into Judah's vacated bunk and pulled the little army sheets over my head. The alarm rang at 5:25 am, at which point I made Stephalie coffee and a lunch and rousted her from her roost and sent her ass packing off to the short bus. Then I climbed into the Stephanie-shaped bed hole and fell back asleep until 6:08 am, at which point both of the kids were awake and pissed off at each other something religious. Lolly was screaming like she was being scalped. Part of the problem is that there is no viable children's programming at 6:08 in the AM, which can only set the table for despair and ruined relationships.

I climbed back in bed at 6:12. I am asleep again when, at 6:17 Lolly is depositing a Chuck E. Cheese token into my ear. What does she want? Skee-ball tickets? No, through the tears and snot she demands food. I'm up, I'm rummaging. I set her up with an apple cup. 6:21 trying to slide back into sweet sleep, I hear the screaming again. 6:26 she's inconsolable and without pants (both qualities come straight from her mother's side of the gene pool) and she's politicking for me to "come upstairs and see what happened." What happened is that the apple cup spilled and when I did not come as called, she unleashed a hearty "revenge peeing" upon our carpets, which have already endured enough pain and suffering at the hands of team Drury Jr. to qualify for the job of Jesus on the Cross.

Back in bed at 6:32. Up to meet Fruit Loop demands at 7:28. Pleasant surprise--Judah has dressed himself, packed himself a lunch and donned his backpack. The bus doesn't come for another hour, but he lives in perpetual fear of missing it. I'm able to sneak in another 20 minutes of sleep before I have to send his ass packing on the short bus and forego any more sleep. Hello day!"

Friday, November 21, 2008

the snuggie

David says this is the gayest thing ever but I really want one!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

office hijinks

I found a stupid romance novel in the breakroom and I've been amusing myself by putting it in my grumpiest coworker's mailbox. I did that yesterday and this morning I found it in the trashcan! He threw it away! The nerve. So I wrote "PLEASE RETURN TO *his name*" on it and left in plain sight so hopefully someone else will give it to him. If it remains unreturned I might have to recruit someone.

So you know my friend Ryan? Ryan's emails make me laugh so hard I hack and wheeze in my chair and sometimes fall over. Just ask Shari! Here are some of his emails from the past few weeks that have made me cough and drool and convulse with laughter.

Entertaining Ryan email exhibit #1:
I used to post sign-up sheets in the break room for a staff movie outing to something stupid. Something like:

All staff movie outing to see Academy Award Winner, Hillary Swank in The Core. Please sign below if you are interested in going to the center of the Earth. [Then I would sign people's names.]

1. Adrian Jacobs
2. Matt Brians
3. Sally St. Johns Wart
Entertaining Ryan email exhibit #2:
Your stalker just handed you his contact information? That creeps me out more than his spilling the beans on his life. Buy some mace today. He might pop his head in your window and present your kids with more than contact information.
Entertaining Ryan email exhibit #3:
I went to the Halloween store to find a wig. It's such a depressing place with cheap, poorly-made clothes and stupid costume ideas. Plus, the one I went to had a special "fetish" section which housed all the sexy nurse and cat costumes, with what they called "improved sexy design". I think that's strange and when I see sexy nurse with improved sexy design I'm going to fart on her and give her my contact information. Hopefully that will teach her to buy cheap costume at the last minute.

Entertaining Ryan email exhibit #4:
(Ryan's letter he wrote to Always.)

Dear Always,

Your infinity pad came in the mail the other day and not a moment too soon! I excitedly tore into the package like a rabid badger, eager to try your latest product. I'm a huge fan of Always and don't trust anyone else when you-know-who comes to town.

When my live-in boyfriend overdosed, I was left to care for the step-children, which, as you can imagine, has been a real stresser in my life! As a result, my emotions have been up and down and my cycle right along with it. One minute it's whimsical and the next a plenitude of blood that could bring down an ape. I used to have to double, sometimes triple my panty protection fearing someone might point to an embarrassing blot on my pantsuit, exclaiming, "Ewwww, you're spotting on the ottoman!" I'm a hefty woman, I need a hefty pad.

The infinity pad has held up through and through, giving me peace of mind. Thank you Always. I have indeed, bought a ticket, put my period on a train and sent my heavy days packing once and for all!

Yours always,


Entertaining Ryan email exhibit #5:
I kinda want to work on the marketing team for some feminine or masculine or geriatric products. OOooo, what if I worked for Depends, adult diapers!! Wouldn't writing the copy be so fun? "Now you and your bowels are free! Depends. We've gotcha!" I have to think that someone at Always has a sense of humor. The "history" button on my work computer shows that I've been on a lot over the past few days. Did you see the infinity pad ads? Some had the pad made up like a bed and another had the pad standing on end with candles around it, like it's an altar or something. Makes me think that women take their periods very serious.

I'm happy you liked the letter. I was insecure that I wasn't striking the right tone. I don't really know all that much about ladies' boxes and the stuff in them. Did I tell you once at a bar with friends I said, "Okay, everyone has to draw a vagina. Then we'll see who's the most realistic." Mine looked like a tree with an big ear in the middle. Anyway, I'm happy you liked it and I won't punch myself and cry now.

Pads aside, has anyone ever put the "insertion" illustrations for a tampon on a shirt? I think they'd make great skater wear.

...just sayin'


Ryan is on the right, this is when he surprised me and came up for my 26th birthday. Has it been that long?!

Monday, November 17, 2008

the entire obama interview

Here's the whole Obama interview on 60 minutes last night. I love 60 Minutes, I love hearing that ticking. It means Sunday night. But wait, usually Sunday night makes me depressed. Then why do I like that ticking?

Watch CBS Videos Online

Here's The Thing: That's My Pile of Ashes You're Sitting On!

Here is a rad entry on the election and Christians' reactions to it, written by a Christian in the south. Here's The Thing: That's My Pile of Ashes You're Sitting On!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

one of the new girls on snl

I forget her name and don't want to look it up right now but we'll all know it soon enough. Here she's doing her Kirsten Dunst impression. Ha ha!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

dermoid dalliances

Thanks to Jona I had the pleasure of google image searching the word "dermoid cyst." It's a cyst that has teeth and hair in it! I think I heard about those before, and then I strategically forgot about them.

Wikipedia says "Any teratoma near the body surface may develop a sinus or a fistula, or even a cluster of these. Such is the case of Canadian Football League linebacker Tyrone Jones, whose teratoma was discovered when he blew a tooth out of his nose."

I'll leave you with that. Night night!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sunday, November 9, 2008

douchebag hair

There's an article in Details called Do You Have Douchebag Hair? and it was cracking me up. Here were some of their examples of douchebag hair & facial hair.






Wednesday, November 5, 2008

how to repel friends and alienate people

I was studying (for my certification exam - that's another story) in Starbucks tonight before my therapy appointment. The song "Hallelujah" came on and some frat guys standing by the creamer station said "Hey, this is that song from Shrek! Who sings this? Yeah! It's the Shrek song!"

Well, I couldn't stand it because I think that song is sort of sacred so I said "Jeff Buckley sang the Shrek version but it's a Leonard Cohen song." One of the guys said "Cool!" and walked right into my personal space. "Hey, what are you studying?" I said "Um, respiratory system stuff." He said "I have some respiratory problems. Yeah, my lungs fill up with fluid." He was wearing a Hollister shirt and had blue hair. I said "That's gross." He was undaunted and said "Maybe we could talk about them after you're done with this?" I said "I can't, I have therapy." He looked a little scared and then I added for good measure, "Yeah. I'm a MESS!" He took a step back and then left without saying goodbye. hahaha!

Remember that for next time you want someone to leave you alone!

that's so gay

I thought I’d give two of my friends a voice here on my blog. My very dear friend Shane is a single parent who has adopted three foster kids. His kids and mine are best of friends and Shane is a wonderful dad. The kids came from severely abusive homes and Shane took them in and now they are thriving and it’s beautiful. So I feel emotional about Prop 8 because of our relationship with Shane’s family, and he is gay. I’m not a gay (I like to say “a gay”) so I can only imagine how they feel about this measure, and I can only imagine what is going to happen for the thousands of kids in foster care who will not be able to be placed in homes with gay parents, and will continue to be shuttled between foster homes and no sense of stability, all because of the passing of this law. My heart just hurts, physically aches for all of these children who will suffer from this. If you believe in prayer, please pray for them.

So today when Prop 8 passed Shane told me this (and said I could quote him):
Whose children are the beneficiaries of Prop 8? Not mine, that is for sure. Prop 8 makes certain that my children understand that their father is a second class citizen. This is no "moral victory" for lots of reasons. It is primarily a financial victory. I wonder if all those good Christians are going to still refer to Mormons as cultists? Prop 8 will pass because of the Mormon church's support, after all. I am also heartbroken and furious that Arkansas apparently voted to make it impossible for gay people to adopt kids (and probably then, not be able to be foster parents, too).
And here is Ryan's blog entry today. It makes me so sad that so many gay people feel like Christians hate them. I hear from both sides: I hear the Christians saying "we are pushing for Prop 8 to save families." I hear the gays saying "Why do they want to deny us this?" I can understand both sides, but I have to say that the Christians need to realize that God is bigger, if they do believe in God. (I say that because I know some agnostics/atheists are reading this.) He's bigger than a law. Love is bigger than all of this. What I take the Bible to say is don't worry about legislation nearly as much as you concern yourself with the basics. Love people. Why don't they feel loved by you? If you have love in your heart, reach out to them. They're wonderful. They're people and they were made in God's image. What if your children grow up to be gay? What will happen then? Hopefully you will not ostracize or judge them, you will be a safe haven for them! Jesus said that what you do to the least of them, you do unto him. Here's Ryan:
On the cusp of so much possibility for change, I have pause. Come Wednesday, Nov 5th I'm nervous I might greet the day with a frowny face knowing the Republicans will continue to drive us into the ground and that me and so many good people, that I love and respect, will continue to be dehumanized and treated as second-class citizens. The outcome of the next 30 hours are life-changing for many. I can't remember a time I've felt so affected by a campaign.

If you are in opposition to gay marriage I think it is important to (1) recognize where that opinion is coming from and (2) consider what living in life's margins would feel like. History shows America has not been kind or fair to women and minorities. Thankfully, those of us who realize we're being short-changed by society are mobilizing and turning the tide on social culture. And thank God, or today, women would not be able to vote, owning slaves would be commonplace and bludgeoning homosexuals would be a social norm. The right to marry, for me, is more of an issue of respect than anything else. It is easy to ostracize gays and lesbians and limit their rights if you first, disrespect and discredit them. There have been tremendous strides from 40 years ago, but we're not out of the woods yet. I, for one, think gay marriage is a necessary step to gaining national respect and ultimately allowing us to have a piece of the pie.

Stephanie put her two cents in on gay marriage, an issue I haven't had an emotional reaction to until this weekend. Her thoughts, a Christian perspective, are insightful and fair. As someone coming from a hurtful religious upbringing, I always appreciate someone who, regardless of background, if they have struggled in life's margins or have deep, emotional scars, is still able to love and think--but mostly just love.

Here's Stephanie:

I’ve been thinking about gay marriage lately because the California vote on it is going to take place soon. I think that if we live in a democracy, it should be legal. It’s not going to hurt straight marriages or God’s design of marriage. If God exists, his design can’t be thwarted by a law. What can man do to me? said the psalmist. Christians talk about anti-gay stuff and are very adverse to it, but I think they/we are missing the fact that God destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah not because of the gayness and sodomy festivals and homo-olympics, it was because they didn't listen to him. And how often do Christians who have a major problem with gayness also not listen to God? How many of them run from relationship and being humble and being open and how many of us build this self-protective shell and fail to reach out and do good when it's in our power to do so? I feel so sad about all the energy being spent in the wrong place. I hate that I spent so many years doing that myself and I want so much to head towards truth and not keep going towards being self-righteous and defensive.

My comment to Stephanie's Blog:

I'm touched by your comments on gay marriage and a Christian perspective. Gays, in general, hate religion and the religious because they (we) think it hates us. I don't think anything is black and white and like knowing that there are Christians who have brains and recognize what is a social condition and what is a religious one (in terms of their feelings one way or another toward gay marriage). May I repost?

Stephanie's response to my comment:

Yes Rye you absolutely may repost! I'm so happy that you're touched by it because you're one of the most wonderful people I know and I hate that gays (whom I love) think religion hates them...because it basically does.God and religion are separate. Religion sucks. God is love and love conquers all. xoxoxo

really wonderful

This clip is really wonderful. Lots of graciousness and hope going around. *sniff tear!*

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

electoral votes

We're watching the electoral votes tally up on CNN. Right now McCain is about 43 and Obama is 179. Judah says "Yay! Obama is winning!" It's so cute.

I said to him "You know though, it doesn't matter who wins. It's fine to have opinions and to vote, but the Bible says that the king's heart is in the hands of the Lord."

Judah said "What it means by that?"

I said "It means that God is bigger than any man, even a president or a king."

He said "Oh. Good!"

i care! i care!

T minus 8 hours till it's over. I'm really calm and happy. What the heck? Usually I'm moaning about how I'm stressed and sad about something.

This effin election...

This one's for Joellen & Katie.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Sunday, November 2, 2008

jona's bad date

Jona just sent me a hilarious email and she gave me permission to post it.



I was on a date when you called. It was a bad and uncomfortable date. He talked to me like I was a retarded kid, and when I pointed that out, he said "That's weird...I worked with the mentally disabled for like 4 years..."


ANYWAY I should have been at home under my 'lectric blanket.

He was clueless. But he was really cute and nice at first. But he would ask me what I liked to do, and I would tell him, and he would say, "That's GREAT, Jona! That's really good! Gooood!" Like he was encouraging a retarded baby.

There should have been cameras there. He had no game! He kept telling me he had to go to the bathroom so he could fart. Also, he asked me if I'd ever had an abortion. Also, he asked me if I want to be a mom.

Also...he used the word "pee pee" when referencing his dong.

Also, he referenced his dong.

I hope he didn't give me the clap.

I quit dating. It is a laugh factory right next door to a shit factory.



Saturday, November 1, 2008

my lisa is great when i can get it

I like bad movies. The holy grail of bad movies that I've found is The Room. Tommy Wiseau wrote, produced, and directed it. Tommy used to have a personal website where he uploaded photos and videos. This is one of those videos. (He's the one in the wifebeater.)

happy halloweenie

Right now I'm letting the kids eat Halloween candy for breakfast. I can't believe I'm doing this. They're being pretty cute, Lolly picks out the Lemonheads and Atomic Fireballs and gives them to Judah in exchange for Tootsie Rolls. Judah said "Lolly is the master of tootsie rolls!" and she said "Yeah! I'm the master!" People gave out full-size Snickers this year. FULL SIZE SNICKERS! I'm taking those for myself. I like to "tax" the kids' candy. Give them a little economics lesson. "When you get money, the government takes some of it. Just like I'm taking some of your candy."

Here we were shopping for pump-a-kins (as L calls them)


And here is Judah's design on the left. Lolly just said I could make any kittycat I wanted.


Here's my little fairy. "See how my skirt flies up when I jump!