Thursday, December 24, 2009

oh what fun it is to ride

Took both kids to the ER in the space of 12 hours, R had an ear infection and J has pneumonia! They're feeling way better now but it was awful. Before they got sick I had an internal sort of breakdown from it being Christmas but I'm dealing with it instead of trying to numb out and I got a lot of people to pray for me and I'm better. I super love this woman, Belleruth Naparstak, who does guided relaxation and it is corny but that's okay. I love medicine but I'm down with this holistic stuff too about the mind-body connection, I think they're actually the same, not even connected but the same. Anyway she does these tapes to help people deal with anxiety and all kinds of sicknesses and she's so rad. Her voice sounds like Michael Jackson and Betty White all in one but if you can ignore that it's good. You can find her on youtube. I feel like I should put fewer youtube links on here cause this is turning into one big youtube routing hub.

In other happy news, today Mick from Supergrass tweeted that he likes my Christmas mix and I think that is a Christmas miracle. I kinda want to tweet this good news but then he'd see it and have even more evidence I'm insane. As if flying to see them in Cali and NYC last year wasn't enough. And I'm going to LA to see them next month, thanks to my partner in Supergrass crime Simone! She bought my ticket as an early birthday present. Yips!!!

Now I would like to show you some pictures I think are funny. My friend Jason was given a subscription to Car & Driver under the name of Deez Nutz and he's asking everyone if they did this, and we're all saying we wish we had.

Then Simone's husband Gregg put this sticker on a McDonald's sign the other day. (He's a vegan. He really would throw up if he ate McDonald's.)

That's all the funny I have for now. I hope my kids get all better. xo

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

long sleeves! am i right, ladies?

I was so happy when my lady love Maria Bamford was in those black Friday Target ads. I just saw she did a one hour Christmas standup special from her couch. HEAVEN. If you don't have an hour to listen at least listen to the two minutes at the end where she properly skewers female comedians, it's a minute 49:00.

Maria Bamford's Christmas Special! from Punchline Magazine on Vimeo.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

jeff breakfast

Here's a bad Christian comedian named Jeff Breakfast. He said "the crowd was very accepting of my tender sacrilege." NOT FOR KIDS

Part 1

Part 2

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm in my therapist's lobby and found this, they asked Garrison Keillor how he mastered storytelling and he said "I didn't. There's no mastery to be had. You love the attempt. You dont master a story any more than you master a river, you feel lucky to canoe down it." That seems allegorical on so many levels and makes me happy.

stadium pal

I'm fascinated by Stadium Pal and I found David Sedaris talking about them on Letterman!

And here's my lady love Amy Sedaris on Martha Stewart. You all know how I feel about Martha and I love how Amy gets some brilliant digs in.

My favorite part:
Martha: "No, I don't live alone! I have five cats and three dogs..."
Amy: "Oh, those people."

Monday, December 14, 2009

i am so g.d. busy

that i only have time to write about my death pool picks for 2010. These are the celebrities I predict will kick it next year. Actually they weren't really chosen based on probability, because who would've thought Michael Jackson and Billy Mays would die this year? Billy Mays here! There's still time for you to send your Death Pool picks to Grapes of Rad before the new year.

Okay, so: my picks are

Norm MacDonald
Steve Jobs
Lindsay Lohan
Pete Doherty
Brian Posehn
Ralphie May
Richard Lewis
Artie Lang
Pat Sajak
Steve Buscemi

On the bench:
Dave Coulier
David Hasselhoff
Barack Obama

Thursday, December 10, 2009

norm macdonald

I'm on a Norm MacDonald youtube streak and church-laughing listening to him at work, this might have been my favorite, when he was on The View like ten years ago. The View women all deserve wedgies and he gives them to them all verbally. This one doesn't have when he kept saying that Clinton killed Vince Foster and Barbara kicked him off though. I need to find that one.

But the best is when he's on the Adam Carolla show and they start talking about Kenny Rogers lyrics, I was dying the whole way through.

I think that Norm and Christopher Walken and Billy Corgan could all meld into one.

i can't believe this is real

I do most of my blogging these days via facebook & twitter cause it's all I have time for (140 characters or less) but this is the most fascinating thing I've seen in so long - Richard Nixon talking about "those queers" on All in the Family. So hilarious and crazy!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

my xmas mix

I have no idea if it'll load in the right order, which isn't even the order listed. That's why two Silent Nights are back to back. Anyway, click on it to download. I love you all!