Friday, August 29, 2008


I saw this article today called "Why I'm Pro-Life and Pro-Obama" by Frank Schaffer.

PS - My love for Joel McHale grows deeper with every passing day.



Our friend Rich is a reformed pastor and he's visiting right now...he said about it "This is so bad it surprises me."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Yesterday I was at the bus stop with Shari at 5th & James and I saw a little boy who was two years old, he couldn't have been three yet, and his mom was yelling at him. She told him to stand in one place and not move. He took a little step to the side, like two year olds do. She yanked his arm and yelled at him "If you don't stand still I'm going to pull your motherfucking pants down and spank your motherfucking ass right here" and I pulled her off of him and said "Don't talk to him that way!" She picked him up and said "I'll talk to him however I want, you back the fuck off!" and she walked away with him. I followed her and said "You shouldn't talk to him like that, you need to take care of him!" and she said "I do take care of him, bitch!" and she took some steps towards me. I hoped she would hit me so that the police would have to take a report and her son could go into protective custody, because if she does that to him on the street at a busy bus stop, what does she treat him like at home? We were in front of the jail and there should have been cops around somewhere but there were none. She didn't hit me though and started walking away. I followed her and said "He's totally helpless, you can't treat him like that" and she said "Shut the fuck up, bitch!" I said "He's a sweet boy, you need to be sweet to him." I was totally yelling at her and her little boy looked back at me while he was being carried away and I wanted to grab him. She set him down and yanked his arm so hard as she went around the corner. I followed her and looked up the hill to where she was at another bus stop and she saw me and grabbed the boy again and went around another corner where I couldn't see her. I wonder if I made it worse for that little boy, I wonder if she took it out on him later, she already said extra bad words in front of him while she was yelling at me and she yanked his arm a couple times to get him away from me. I hate that for him so much. This is how mental illness and downward spirals start because when you're taught from so young that you're not worth anything you believe it.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


David had Robin Marsh paint this of me for our 9th anniversary. It took her 9 months to do and we just got it today.


Up close. Yay Robin!


The big question is, where do you put a huge painting of yourself in your own tiny house? We ended up putting it in the living room on a wall that faces the back wall so you can only see it when you sit on a certain part of the sofa. It's surreal to have in the house. I'm pretty overwhelmed I guess.

Monday, August 25, 2008

ha ha!

From the Slog:
"Do you not believe in freedom of speech?"

Saturday, August 23, 2008

some kind of monster

David sent this email to our friend JP and I thought it was funny. (For context: JP's band Pleaseeasaur played at Lars-from-Metallica's house for his son's 5th birthday, & Pleaseeasaur sometimes performs wearing an abominable snowman costume.)


I watched the Metallica "Some Kind of Monster" documentary yesterday.

I was waiting for that pivotal moment in the documentary where someone speaks the words of the title for the first time and you connect it to the band, ("Aha!") and to the story that is being told ("Gripping!"), and to your soul ("Poignant!",) and you finally see the big picture. Their struggle as artists. Our struggle as humans. The moment came NOT as I imagined it would (see below) but as they were passing around a clipboard, writing shitty lyrics to another shitty song.

My rewrite:
After a year of horrible recording sessions, infighting, drunken rages, pouting, spit-soaked cursing, squandered riffs, and soiled drumbeats, the members of Metallica go their separate ways. James gets in his flame-ensconced hot rod with the skull shifter and drives to the remotest part of Alaska, where he hunts polar bears just for the stomachs, which when emptied, make great vodka satchels.
Llaarrss explores his roots, going to the Danish countryside, eating raspberry danishes, buying a great Dane, and playing tennis.
The other guy makes the solo record he always wanted, and sells it to Old Navy for use in their plus-sizes khaki radio and television commercials in exchange for a lifetime supply of fitted black t-shirts.

One year later, they decide to reunite at the birthday party for Llaarrss's son. There they are, sitting pensively, watching a small of spoiled rock children slobber and giggle while a man onstage sings goofy songs and changes costumes.

James: What the fuck is this?
Llaarss: Pleaseasaur
James: What the fuck is a Pleaseasaur?
Llaars: Some kind of monster.
They all seem satisfied with this answer. Roll credits.


[Pleaseeasaur in the throes of passion]

Wednesday, August 20, 2008




Uncle John swinging Lolly


The train bridge



Lady with severe VPL


She did some lunges while her kids played. Multitasking.


My brother & my son


Brother's shirt



I took this of Lolly


Lolly took this of me


Judah tied his balloon to his ear


Corndogs are funny


Monday, August 18, 2008

fyi and thank you

Last Monday my boss asked "How was your weekend?" and I said "Good, how was yours?" and then he said "Pleasant, thank you." He put some extra oomph into the pleasant. I was delighted and immediately texted Shari, who was on vacation, to report what had just transpired. Then this morning he came in and asked us "How was your weekend?" Shari said "Good, yours?" and he said "Pleasant and relaxing" then darted out the door. Oh we just think it's hilarious. He tries so hard to put on a business-y front. He always tries not to curse and you catch him midway through a word and then he renegs. He was just in here saying "It's a pain in the ahh- ...uh, a pain in the tail." His emails are works of art that say something as long and drawn out as they possibly could with lots of office-speak in them and then he always closes with "FYI and thank you."

Then this email from Carrie:
Did I tell you (I think I did) that last night when I was playing with Lolly she said "you be the babysitter and I'll be the grandpa. Now we have to feed baby. [I gave the baby doll a bottle and burped it over my shoulder, hollering out a giant faux-belch, which Lolly seemed to appreciate.] Now baby goes to bed [shoves baby in closet]. Now babysitter reads to grandpa [selects The Gas We Pass for me to read to her]."

dolly bird

Carrie sent me this link to Butter London nailpolish and I spent way too much time looking at all of it. I'm a sucker for packaging and good color (colour?) names. Of these I want Billie No Mates, Crumpet, Dolly Bird, Fash Pack, Yummy Mummy. Please and thank you.

I was reading Charles Bukowski's selected letters (vol. 4) and this quote stood out, it made me think of aftershows in L.A.

From Bukowski to Gerald Locklin:

"That after-premiere gathering was one of the worst. I felt mutilated and de-balled. There was a heavy nothingness in the air, black, stuffy. Barbet described it best when he walked up to me and said 'God, these people are horrible! I feel like my whole body is covered with shit!' That cheered me, and soon after I talked Linda into
getting out of there. And when I leave a place with free drinks, Lock, you know that place is minus zero plus zero = a nothingness worse than can be described."

Last night we watched the Metallica documentary. Those guys need to quit. The whole songwriting and producing and recording process was so arduous and uninspired and they sounded like Christian metal.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

stuff christian culture likes

Once I get going I can't stop. I have years of marinating in Christian culture in reserve and am putting it all into my new blog! Yesterday I wrote a dissertation on youth pastors. Coming up next: khaki.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Monday, August 11, 2008

stuff christian culture likes

In answer to Stuff White People Like phenomenon, or more likely out of want of something new to do, I just made a little blog called Stuff Christian Culture Likes. I consider myself an expert on Christian culture (one of the hallmarks of being a member of Christian popular culture, though I'd like to think of myself as an ex-member...anyway) as I am a preacher's kid and am also married to one. So, here is the first post. Yee haw.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

road trip quotes from the east coast tour

[We were driving through a tunnel to Manhattan.]
Gregg: "I wonder if there are any terrorists in this tunnel. I love that you can't bring your soy yogurt on the airplane but that United van in front of us is probably full of explosives. They won't search people before driving into the tunnel because that's too much trouble. They're like, we'd rather fuck with YOU so you can't bring hummus on the plane."

[Simone & I were talking about camel toe and a bystander's amazing rack. ]
Gregg: "This is like touring with men."

[People everywhere were frantically videotaping and photographing stuff. ]
Mike: "No one experiences anything anymore. They're too busy capturing the moment they never had."

[Gregg hated when Simone & I listened to November Rain. He looked pained by the chorus.]
G: "What the fuck does that MEAN?"
Simone: "It MEANS that nothing lasts forever, even COLD NOVEMBER RAIN!! ...I think it's pretty straightforward."

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

baltimore, washington dc & raleigh, august 1 - 3

Neil Hamburger onstage in Baltimore

Backstage next to a drawing he asked me not to post after I'd taken it. So we'll compromise and I'll pixelate it.

Simone listening to Supergrass. It was randomly on the jukebox when we walked in, what a coincidence, we were inordinately happy about it.


Vegan pizza in D.C.

Skip and Simone make the penis puppet & cake puppet fight.

Mike doing regrettable myspacing after 5 shots of Jager.

Inside the vaults of

A dinosaur of a DVD player

Gregg & Mike marvel at the 22,000 (??) films Skip has. It is one hell of a lot.

Curiouser and curiouser! Should we watch 'Courtesy in Traffic' or 'ABC of Sex Education for Trainable Persons?'

This is how we spent the whole night.

Simone's maiden name in the form of a magnet.

E.T. pillow lovingly handcrafted by Jermaine

More to come..

the bluebird of happiness long absent from her life, stephanie is visited by the skid mark of depression

While I was in New York Shari kept me informed on what I was missing in the office. She knows nothing can ruin my day quite like a skid mark.

To: Stephanie
From: Shari
Date July 30, 2008
Subject: Work Bathroom

Hi Steph! Look what you missed out on in the work bathroom today!


Monday, August 4, 2008

nyc, july 29-31

Shoddily documented with a crappy camera and many pictures missing of many wonderful things (cause I just didn't take them), but here's what I got.

Leaving Seattle

Getting there

The New Jersey show. The tour manager was nice enough to get Ginger, Kate & me in after I told him he was so much better than the old TM, superior in looks & moral fiber. He said flattery would get me everywhere, whee

Ginger & Kate's radical dining room in Brooklyn

Their radical Brooklyn half-bath sink

Simone & Gregg (I think Gregg is trying to tell me to go away)

Radical Brooklyn kitchen. Love that subway tile. (Almost done showing you house pics)

Brooklyn garden (Last one, and I didn't even take pics of the other gorgeous floors)

Supergrass at Webster Hall in NYC. It was the best gig of any I've seen in my life.

The ladies' at Webster Hall

Metaphysical Webster Hall toilet

I couldn't capture even a speck of what it was like to be there.
[I was standing next to David Fricke when I took this.]

Charly & Rob, two of the sweetest and most gentlemanly people, and the best blues pianists in the world

Charly, Gaz & Simone (with a tiny bit of Rob at left)

The next night at the Knitting Factory. Neil Hamburger prepares to take the stage (and he's not happy about it)

Exhibit A in our tour project, Simone & Stephanie's Documentation of Backstage Penis Drawings: Suppressed Homoeroticism in Self-Described Hetero Bands Explored, And What To Do About It.

I bumped into Michele from Seattle at the Neil Hamburger show, how random

How did all these a-holes get backstage?

More to come from the Neil Hamburger tour..