Sunday, November 30, 2008

why the fear re: gay marriage?

My friend Benjamin posted this and he stated my feelings pretty exactly.



I just don't get this. Why are these parents so afraid to talk to their seven year old about gay marriage? If my 6 year old came home from school talking about a book called "King and King", about two princes who married each other, I would consider that a priceless opportunity to talk about homosexuality and heterosexuality--about human sexuality, about safe bodies, about wise choices, etc. etc. Because to me this is a huge difficulty/danger zone for people in general, and the problems/dangers aren't really about homosexuality vs. heterosexuality. The problems are about boundaries, and clear communication, and the long term results of short term choices, and so forth.

I wish my parents, or some caring adult, had been willing to talk openly with me about human sexuality when I was six and seven years old, and when I was 8 and 9 and 10 and 11 and 12. I think such conversations would have prevented a lot of problems for me.

Do you understand this? Can you enlighten me a little. I wish I could sit down with this couple and just ask them lots of questions. It sounds like they are ... afraid about something. I want to know what that is. I'm curious as to whether their fear is justified, and whether it is effectively directed (that is: I wonder if their fear is really about what they think it's about.). They also seem to be under the impression that they can protect their children. But I agree with Dan Allender. We can't protect our children, we can only enstory them. I wish that this couple would focus less on protecting, and more on enstorying. Or maybe they aren't afraid at all--maybe it's something else. They seem like a fairly reasonable, nice couple. I just don't get what they are talking about.

8 comments:

Jona said...

This is really confusing. You think for a second that they're going to reveal some horrible thing that happened when Massachusetts legalized gay marriage in 2003...but it seems that the worst "impact" was that three years later some kids heard a story about some gay princes.

It pisses me off when they say they want to protect children from these adult issues, yet they bring children into these issues without fail in propaganda like this. "Protect children...protect marriage." Then they fail miserably at providing a clear connection between the two ideas.

"We're not bigots, we're protecting children!"

Lame.

juls said...

bottom line is that they are afraid their kid will be gay. just like they are afraid if they go to public school they'll become atheists or liberals. or if they watch listen to secular music they'll start having sex.

i'm not sure that it's biblical to shelter to your children from the world. and in any case, aren't they the best ones to be challenged. if you taught the truths of Christ to your children shouldn't they be the perfect person to respond to worldly attributes as you should walk in Jesus' image- with love, kindness, giving grace and walking humbly. Don't understand this either!

stephy said...

Yeah, I think it's all rooted in fear. Fear comes from wanting to control. But if you, ahem, let go and let God...isn't that what it's all about?
Worrying comes from wanting to control too. When you're worrying you're not relinquishing control to God. I think it's tied in with this.

Ben said...

I agree that it is a huge fear thing. It's pretty strange though, when people react so strongly to those that have fear. It's kind of like being afraid of people who are afraid....

stephy said...

For sure. Do you think Benjamin and I are reacting strongly to people who have fear?

Jojoellen said...

ya know my kids were in public school from kg to grad, they attend a Liberal arts college.They heard about all life styles and cultures and they didnt become gay or bisexula or heterosexual or even chinese by learning, studying and knowing about alternative lifestyles and cultures that are different then thiers Studying and learning about other lifestyles, if anything it has taught them empathy curiousity as to their own culture it has caused them to dig into their own beliefs more and i think this is awesome. Creating thinking, giving kids is what our goal was. not cookie cutter robots. We didnt want them to fear others who are different. That was a long way of saying. Fear binds up doesnt change or motivate. Fear pushes out love, I am pretty sure we want all our kids to love others.

Ben said...

steph, i don't know how you and benjamin are responding. i'm just saying it's always interesting to look at both side of the coin..as i know you enjoy doing. sometime one helps you understand the other and sometimes the one that is trying so hard not to be the other becomes the other in the process. Nietzsche said: "be careful when you fight a dragon, lest you become a dragon."

Rye said...

I don't think proponents of gay marriage ever intended to teach children (or any K-12, school-age student) that it's right or wrong, just that it is. Robb and Robin's (great names BTW) adverse reaction to "King and King" sends a message to their child that there is something severely wrong with the content of the story. If you're going to treat homosexuality like a scary monster it will always seem like a scary monster. They're message should have been that sometimes a King can love a King just as a King can love a Queen. Not all fairy tales are written the same.