Monday, November 5, 2007

fall back

My favorite holiday is Daylight Savings Time in the fall when we gain an hour and ever since I’ve had kids I DON’T GET TO USE IT TO ITS POTENTIAL! The kids get up an hour earlier than usual and I can’t sleep in. I can’t do a damn thing but make breakfast and find the Perfect Cartoon to suit them. Maybe it's not my favorite holiday anymore.

I was just rifling through the front desk candy bowl along with another lady who plucks all her eyebrows out and when it's her birthday she buys herself birthday cards that she makes everyone sign. (Her name is Mavis.) But that's not the point of the story. The point of the story is she held up a Peep and said "What the hell is this?" and Verna, a disgruntled, ahem, OLDER lady who has tall hair and is perpetually pissed off said "I don't know and if I don’t know what it is I don't eat it!" I grabbed two Peeps and hightailed it out of there.

OMG how much do you hate the bathrooms at work? I feel so violated by the smell of poop that smacks me in the face whenever I go in there. There are something like 300 women that work on my floor and only 4 stalls in the bathroom. I guess it manages to stay reasonably clean considering, but I just hate hate hate the concept so much. Carrie and I talk about "bowl blasters," people who fart unashamedly into the toilet bowl and the sound swirls around and echoes fantastically. I try so hard not to look at their shoes or anything so i won't be able to identify the bowl blaster and have to think about them farting everytime I see them in the hall.

The Tiddy Bear informercial is good times.

3 comments:

Carrie said...

You try NOT to look at peoples' shoes? I like to know who they are because then when I see them later in the hall I can think to myself "HAHA! You poop loud!"

Kate said...

Last week I went into the bathroom and as I went to hover (as you know, I don't sit), I knocked a roll of toilet paper (which was stacked up on a shelf on the stall wall) onto the floor and it ROLLED under the stall and almost hit the person in the next stall on the foot. I FREAKED OUT.

OMG THEY WILL THINK I AM HITTING ON THEM!!!

I left it there.

heatherACQ said...

i like what carrie said.
opera people are the breast kind at bowl blasting.