Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Did you see Project Runway last week? I serious as a heart attack thought the "mothers" that came out on stage were trannies! I was so confused saying, "I don't understand, are they F2Ms and have daughters?" Another friend said, "No, they're women. They're all women. You know, with vaginas."Carrie said:
“HAHA I thought they were pretty trans-y too! The one that almost gave me a heart attack was Nancy, she was the one who opened her mouth and a carton of Marlboros fell out.”
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Did you see Project Runway last night? I don't think Kenley is going to make it to Bryant Park. She's the cutest designer since Allison but she's such a hose beast! It's about time Suede got voted off. I want to refer to myself in the third person too. Suede doesn't want to work. Suede just wants to look at diamonds on the internet and post video clips on her blog.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Maybe I should hold a contest for two new BFFs while Simone is in Australia and Carrie is in Arlington. (snicker. Arlington!) I could hold a Stephanie's Work BFF Temporary Replacement Contest. I could make up contest rules!
Stephanie's Work BFF Temporary Replacement Contest
How to enter:
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To enter, send me an email and be charming about it.
The contest is open to citizens of any country except Canada.
The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the contest judge(s) are final.
By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use in any context of his/her name and likeness and/or funny anecdotes and stories told by them. The winner also authorizes the reception of emails and texts from me at odd hours about randomness that I enjoy. Subjects may include: my kids, my husband, pancakes, farting, wieners, donuts, bacon, art deco jewelry, Kenley from Project Runway, the music and personhood of Supergrass, mean people who say they are Christians, dlisted.com, the circle game (where you make a circle with your fingers and if someone looks at it you get to punch them), my monthly mix cds and the harrowing thankless process of making them, my TheRapist (aka counselor) and absolutely everything she said to me at last session, my boss's constant coughing, my urine-soaked carpet and how it makes me want to kill myself, and much much more!
In accepting the prize, the winner acknowledges that I will repeat myself often. I have little short-term memory and stories never grow old for me, so much so that I can't remember ever telling them before. Sorry about that.
The person(s) whose name(s) is drawn as being the winner(s) of the specific prize will be required to answer a skill-testing question before the prize is awarded to them. It is likely the question will involve the word "dong" because I think that word is super funny.
I may request that you see The Women with me. Please share with me your honest feelings about this. I will reserve to use my power of veto on the basis of your answer.
Our relationship status will be voided upon Simone & Carrie's return.
One entry per person.
Jose did come visit me today. Here he is taking a nap in my office. I feel loved when he does that. I actually really do!
EW look at Kim Kardashian's camel toe!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
When I walk to the bus in the morning it's still dark.
When I get off my first bus downtown it's still sort of dark.
But with the flash off the sky looks lighter in pictures.
This here's my desk. I drew on the computer screen for security purposes even though it was just my Google homepage I had up.
Then Shari and Denise and I walk to get coffee. They declined to be photographed.
This is Jorge our friendly neighborhood barista.
He resents having to wear clothes.
Then I get on the bus.
This is on the sidewalk at about 13th and John. My sentiment exactly.
Driving down Denny which is lined up with the Space Needle.
Outside Pretty Parlor
Inside Pretty Parlor.
Lolly & Anna
Rad apartment building
And then I stopped!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I am not voting for McCain. I hope that is obvious. I am sick of everyone saying – “He was a good soldier. He was a good soldier.”
Um yeah. He was captured.
So he was not that good.
Oh no she didn't! That made me laugh. The rest of her blog is really hilarious and really dirty so don't click on it if you might be offended. But you're here already, which you might not do if you were offended easily. Anywaysies. Anyhoodles!
I got a new camera (a cheap one but still) and I've been documenting my workday, because it's a big part of my life and pictures never get taken of it. (The reason for this is that it is
b o r i n g but I needed an excuse to take pictures.) I just got coffee with Denise & Shari. Feel happier. Meeting at 11:45. Feel sad. Have codeine, though. I didn't see Project Runway last night. There was a new one on last night, right? Well, I didn't see it. Kevin & Vanessa think that Lolly is going to look like Leeann when she grows up. I love everything Leeann designs. I bet she wins! I think Kenley is so cute but her attitude is the worst ever, and her voice is too. Carrie said: "I love Kenley's clothes (not always so much what she designs but what she wears) but she is the vilest hosebeast ever and I await her downfall." Ha ha!
I love this fall weather to bits and bits. Shari says it's scarf-like. It reminds me of 1993 when I was in my first year of college and Rhonda and I would drive around for no reason looking at the red and orange trees and listening to Siamese Dream, which was brand new at the time.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Diamonds or pearls?
What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Oh crap. I cannot remember. Sex and the City? That is way too long ago.
What is your favorite TV show?
The Sopranos (I'm late in the game but I just recently got into it), Paranormal State, Project Runway, Rachel Zoe Project, Judge Judy, To Catch A Predator
What do you usually have for breakfast?
What is your middle name?
What food do you dislike?
Underripe tomatoes that have seeds and juice in them
What is your favorite CD at moment?
Diamond Hoo Ha by Supergrass
What kind of car do you drive?
Turkey & swiss at Katy Lu's in Castro Valley, Cali.
What characteristic do you despise?
Pretense, apathy, moral superiority
Favorite item of clothing?
Dresses cause they look like you made an effort when you actually made less than if you put on jeans
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Favorite brand of clothing?
Anything from Anthropologie, and vintage
Where would you retire to?
Magnolia, or San Francisco
What was your most recent memorable birthday?
My last birthday when my cake was wrapped in candy bacon!
Favorite sport to watch?
Not really a sports fan but I like gymnastics and diving, and Arkansas football
Are you a morning person or a night person?
What did you want to be when you were little
I wanted to be Amy Grant
What is your favorite candy?
Pralines, and butterscotches from See's
What is your favorite flower?
What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
Going to Marrowstone Island. I like saying Marrowstone.
Do you wish on stars?
Only with Judah & Lolly
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Flesh. Just kidding, I think that color name is so funny. I would be carnation pink.
How is the weather right now?
Favorite soft drink?
Any taco truck
What was your favorite toy as a child?
I don't remember...I only remember obsessively wanting a Barbie b/c I wasn't allowed to have one
Summer or winter?
Chocolate or Vanilla?
Coffee or tea?
Coffee, strong, all day long
Do you want your friends to email you back?
No, they can all go to hell. Every survey has at least one dumb question in it.
When is the last time your cried?
Tonight at therapy
What is under your bed?
Vintage magazines & stationery
What did you do last night?
Watched Sopranos with David
What are you afraid of?
Mean people and earthquakes
Salty or sweet?
How many years at your current job?
Favorite day of the week?
Friday, my day off
How many towns have you lived in?
Fort Collins, CO; Enid, OK; Fayetteville, Ark.; Wichita Falls, TX; San Marcos, TX; Seattle, WA; Shoreline, WA
Do you make friends easily?
Maybe too easily.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Christina cleared for takeoff
Flower girl throws petals. Malkmus family looks on
It was 103 degrees so they made the ceremony extra super short.
Kyle handing out fans, me talking to Jessica, the kids rolling around in the grass
Kyle getting fanned violently
Christina and a Matthew Sweet lookalike. She was the happiest I've ever seen her
Davy & Lolly
Stephen, Sunday & half of Jessica
The beautifulest deliciousest cake in Oregon
Lolly airing out
Judah danced there so long he wore a hole in the grass. I'm pretty sure "Gett Off" was playing here, oh well, what do you do?
After it got dark they brought out kiddie pools
...and the next morning.
Christina and Peter, I ruv you guys.
"My church had a Christian drama troupe come several times while I was in youth group. There was a narrator with suspenders that could freeze time, allowing him to jump in and out of the narrative to give us a moral lesson. You'd see two kids (played by adults) being offered marijuana and arguing that, '...only doing it once couldn't hurt you.' The narrator would snap his suspenders signaling the actors to freeze. Then he'd step out of the the fourth wall (theatre term) and say, 'Now, do you guys think that Allison and Jeremy know agape love? Are they making smart choices with godly hearts?'I told him about the Bristol Stool Scale. He said:
"Jon [Ryan's boyfriend] was in a Christian Youth Conference in Michigan where they performed Christ's Crucifixion. Yes, Jonathan was Christ and I have a picture of him, bloody and nailed to a cross in an auditorium filled with children. Nothing creepy there. I'll have to find that picture of Jonathan hanging on the cross, smattered in blood. I asked, 'You did this for kids?!' 'Twice a day,' he told me.
"That's amazing! Maybe I could use that chart for my IBS poo journal! I need someway of describing the poos. I was categorizing them like:
Proud Poo -- Firm, healthy and long
Polynesian -- Poo nuggets floating about
Oil slick -- Diarrhea without much fibrous material
Boggy -- Diarrhea with a lot of fibrous material
Clay Aiken -- Clay-like poo that you really have to work to get out.
I was at the library yesterday and I saw a Clay Aiken book. I never knew he was so religious. One day, that may conflict with his faggotry.
Anyway, now I have a real chart to work from."
Talking about being Sarah Palin for Halloween:
"When my sister got her teaching credintial she went to all these teacher supply stores. I never knew they existed! They were full of fancy borders for your buliten boards, large punch-out letters, pencils, stationary, etc. They also had a slew of dolls; ethnic dolls as well as "special dolls". The special dolls, purpose, I assume, was like that of the ethnic dolls--to teach kids that all people are equal enough to have a toy in their likeness. Who are they kidding? Anyway, there are downy dolls on the market. Visit Down Syndrome Dolls.You can carry a doll and a rifle. You'll make a great Vice President."
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
He got a "cold hot chocolate for here" and it was kind of awesome.
After all that sugar he went to the dentist and they found two cavities. Whoops.
Lolly painting a Boots action figure
Rich crashing on our couch between his hectic blackjack events in Seattle and preaching events in L.A. (note the soul patch. Just giving you a hard time, Rich)
Judah being debonair on his first day of 1st grade!
Walking to the bus
While brother's away, Princess TinyPants plays with his toys
He picked pineapple upside-down as his first-day-of-school cake. He insisted on all those cherries on it.
Jose taking a nap under my desk.
He was forbidden to sleep sitting up at his desk anymore so now he naps in my office.
Lara at her wedding rehearsal.
David & Lara at the rehearsal dinner
Goat cheese and poached apples on baguettes, they kicked ass
Gavin & Nora!
The sun was in our eyes
The rehearsal dinner in Edmonds, it was gorgeous