I feel sad about what James Dobson said about Barack Obama. I have a strong reaction to that stuff because I was raised according to Dobson's rules. I think James Dobson probably has a couple of good things to say overall, but the way he's saying the things he does hurts my heart. I know that's probably an extreme reaction compared to how most people feel about political stuff. It all ties into how I was raised. I know that when I had conservative political beliefs, I thought I was definitely on the 'right' side. I thought the Constitution provided for biblical things to become law. But eventually I looked at it objectively and that really sucked, to be honest, because it meant I had to question the beliefs I'd been raised with and that's painful. This stuff seems to tie into my struggle with truth and my trying to see what's behind my anger because anger always covers up either sadness or hurt. I think about this book I read about India when I was a little kid and it had a picture of these starving kids with beautiful big eyes and the caption said "Let your heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God." - I think that sums it up. But I don't want my heart to hurt, dammit! I don't want to think about the ways I've been rejected and marginalized and about all the hurting people in the world and about how I can't afford a new iBook, I want to self-medicate by distracting myself or getting angsty about petty things. I can't be doing that if I'm going to be a whole person. Maybe God is real and maybe I'm called to a purpose, so then what am I supposed to do? Maybe he's not real and nothing really matters in the end, so what am I supposed to do then? What do I do about people who aren't Christians who are way nicer and sweeter than people who say they're Christians? I sometimes feel like God's real and he's with me, and I've thought about this and wondered if I'm crazy and just want so much to believe that there is something bigger than myself, but then sometimes I feel like I really do experience him as someone who is real. So I've decided in times I'm doubting, to act as if I'm convinced he's real, because then I'll actually have faith. I think the acting bit is the key here. If I said "of course God is real. I know without a doubt that if I die I'll go to heaven." - then I wouldn't actually have faith, because faith needs a doubt. I can't speak for anyone else's experience of God and if someone just hasn't experienced him then that's totally valid. I'm glad we can all be friends anyway, it's beautiful. And I think that's what Barack was saying in his speech that James Dobson didn't like. So, that's why James Dobson made me sad.
Plus, he said Barbie was bad and that's why I couldn't have Barbies when I was little. So bite me, Dr. Dobson! Right here, take a bite!