I know very well that by general consensus Jessica Simpson sucks and she's cheesy and says dumb things, but maybe that's why I like her. She seems like someone I'd hang out with back home, and she's a southern preacher's kid like me. Ergo, I like her and everyone makes fun of me. And that's okay. I'm going to add some fuel to your fire by showing you my new earrings I got that are Jessica Simpson brand and they're gigantic like Texas. Don't be too jealous.