So, I don't know when I'll get used to crying in front of my therapist. Does anyone know when and if that happens? Today she actually cried with me which was a nice surprise and a bit surreal, but healing too, to have someone share your pain like that. It was a good session (because anything I pay $85 for is good by default or at least sheer willpower on my part) but now my contacts feel goopy cause I cried in them. But you don't wear contacts so you can't know this miserable feeling of goop on your corneas. And I can't get home and take them out till 7 pm which is when I'll get home from work...blah. The ends I go to, y'all. Paying to cry in front of someone, taking public transportation, and working late because of it, me and my first-world problems.
Don't you love this Black Apple print of the Morrissey lyric?
9 comments:
You do eventually get used to crying in front of your therapist. I did, anyway. By the time I was finished with therapy, about a year after I started, I was stripped clean of most of my masks and had only one face left to show her...and it was usually crying.
I LOVE that print. Love love love. And love your new -- format? layout? I don't speak blog.
I'm thinking about therapists and crying and may just blog about it too....but I do think crying in therapy means one feels safe there, and that's something good.
I got so used to crying in front of mine, that when the day came and I didn't cry, I just sat there all awkward and self-conscious, and actually said aloud that she "must think I am strange for always wearing the same sweatshirt, like I had a "therapy sweatshirt". (Her office was cool and I always brought a zip up sweatshirt along). She said of course she didn't think I was strange and she hadn't noticed I always had the same sweatshirt. Then I was more self-conscious and worried that she thought I was strange for thinking she would think I was strange and why was I obsessing about a sweatshirt (e.g., what does my obsession about the sweatshirt REPRESENT)? And then I realized I must have really worked through what I came there about to have all this mental energy to expend on what she thought of me when I WASN'T an emotional wreck, so I must be finished with therapy for the time being. (I can be shallow again! Cured!)
Funny about the crying and contacts because I was having some real trouble with mine recently and after bawling my eyes out about something, they came good again!
As for feeling comfortable crying in front of the therapist, I've never stayed with one long enough to see that change, though I don't know that I ever felt uncomfortable for crying. That's real sweet that she cried with you. I would really like that.
It is definitly a good thing when your therapist crys with you :O)...
The first time my t cryed with me was really unsettling maybe because i thought ut oh i hurt him. Then as i started to let him be human, real, i said oh cool, i am not all alone in my tears, someone is here along side me. Now to allow myself to get angry unedited in front of t, or with him hmmmm. now thats a challenge for me too.
When my therapist cried with me it took me out of the moment at first and made me think, is this okay? Is she supposed to be more professional? But of course she's not, at least not in this type of therapy, she isn't supposed to be reserved and aloof because the type of recovery we're doing involves her stepping into my pain with me and the healing comes from that, partly. So my next step is to get angry with her like you have with your therapist, Joellen...that oughta be interesting!
Love the print. Stole it!
I like what you've done with your blog layout. Did you do it yourself?? I can't do this stuff.
I have never had a therapist, but I think if I did and she cried I'd just say, "HA! Gotcha!" and pretend like the only reason I was crying was to see if she would...I wasn't REALLY crying...
My friend Melanie did my blog layout because she's wonderful and amazing.
I don't know anything about therapy but it does sound as if your's is working.
The lovely print reminded my of the time when my daughter's friends had a challenge to see who had the most books in their rooms. My daughter won because no-one else had more then 100 and she stopped counting halfway at 200! We really need a bigger house just to get the books in as the book shelves are full and there are piles of books in the corners of every room!
P.S. Can Melanie pop over to the UK and update my blog?
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