Friday, January 18, 2008

your tax dollars at work

IMing with Chris about that freaky video, then digressing into church camp. Boring for you, funny for me.

Chris: thanks for freaking me out with that damn video
me: isn't it brutal?
Chris: if it's true it most certainly is brutal
me: reminds me of the conspiracy theories aaron has
Chris: totally
me: not a damn thing we can do about it even if it's true
Chris: nope!
it kind of reminds me of a lot of the end of the world shit I would hear as a kid at church
me: me too. "A Thief In The Night"
Chris: I have no doubt in my mind that the world will degrade into a bunch of stupid sheep but there's not a damn thing I can do about it!
those movies RULES
I mean
me: david collects '70s and '80s christian movies. we should have you over for a viewing marathon
Chris: I love thinking about Biblical prophecy... if it IS true, then why do we even bother for peace in the middle east!?
oh rad!!!!
I didn't know he had that collection
me: seeeeriously. if they'd read the bible, they'd know it's futile
Chris: yup
me: he got 4 new ones for xmas. one is called "On Thin Ice"
Chris: which is why having a "Christian" president trying to make peace is so funny
haha nice
me: it's about some acid-wash wearing christian teens going on a spring break ski trip with their non-christian friend
Chris: ooooooh
have you seen the one where the teens get in a car wreck?
Chris: and then have to face their destiny?
me: i've seen a couple about a car wreck...
me: ...and have performed in several skits with that scenario, at church camp
Chris: haha nice
me: each time a paper plate was used to be the steering wheel
Chris: I want video of you performing that!
me: i really hope there is no such video out there
there IS however, video of me listening to james dobson speak in 1991
Chris: if there is, I sort of want to make it my life's goal to find it
me : it's on the "life on the edge" series and the camera closed-up on me in the audience :P
Chris: oh really?!?!
I've totally seen that!
me: i bet you of all people could find it
Chris: oh yes I could
me: just borrow it from yoru parents. haha
Chris: mom? dad? my body is going through changes so I shoved drugs up my ass... what should I do now?
me: son, you need to know the answer doesn't lie in drugs. the answer jesus christ.
Chris: "lemme tell you 'bout a friend of mine..."
me: jesus will give you a high that drugs never could.
Chris: That high is called tongues... and by tongues I mean Christian key party
me: at your christian camps, did everyone form backrub chains and rub each other's backs? it was total christian safe sex
Chris: oh my gosh... yes and yes
Chris: say teens, who has ever had blue balls!?
well that's God's way of telling you you got too close!
too much petting!
me : team up with your accountability partner
Chris: christian culture is amazing
I wen to Bible camp all growing up
Chris: and then worked there between the ages of 14-17
me: i went to Bible camp in Colorado Springs all growing up
Chris: had my first make out session in the parking lot in my gf's car
me: then I worked at a Christian camp near Austin and lifeguarded and was a counselor in college.
Chris: and the whole time you feel so damn guilty about everything
me : seriously
Chris : I smoked my first cigarette working at camp too
me : all we did when we were working at camp was wait for the campers to go to sleep and then furtively smoke and drink shiner bock
Chris: yup
smoking is for everyone :)
me: remember when tom green tried to teach kids at the playground to smoke?
Chris: haha YES
even though I barely remember Tom Greene these days
me: and the dad said "you don't teach them, they figure it out for themselves"
Chris: yay dad
me: i have to go
Chris: later
me: it was nice talking to ya
Chris: yup!


bandwidow said...


you two are too whitty! unfortunately, i'm right there with y'all. everything from the car wreck videos to AG church camp, but you forgot carmen!

ShariMacD said...

OMG, I'm laughing sooo hard right now.

Speaking of Carmen, did you ever hear about the Carmen Museum he planned? But then some of my investigative friends at CCM found out and he denied it, and I guess he couldn't do it after that. Hahahaha! Wonder what he was gonna put in it? His sunglasses?

I've also met Bibleman.

Thanks for the good laugh on a day when I'm recovering from strep throat.

Simone said...

me: remember when tom green tried to teach kids at the playground to smoke?
Chris: haha YES
even though I barely remember Tom Greene these days.

*sigh* Chris' response provides another nugget to add to my collection of mostly personal experiences which make Tom Green a douchebag.