Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
oh my
A friend sent this to me today:
so umm. can you not write stuff of that "extremity" on my wall. i personally don't care and you can send me whatever messages you want but not all of my 600+ "friends" and relatives share/understand/appreciate your brand of humor. you are too edgy and out of the box for some of them. thanks for understanding (assuming you do).And I had been trying to tone it down and keep it safe. Am I really that strange to people? Calling therapist...
new shoes & new grapes
The new Grapes of Rad podcast is up where they talk about seeing The Room last week. This is gonna be good!! They start talking about it right about minute 25 if you absolutely can't wait to hear them rip into it. I think they've only recently discovered Zach Galifianakis because they're excited about him as I was when I found him. Good on you boys.
Also, my latest eBay score came today, saving what was a borderline bad day and neatly turning it right around. I had to take a picture of them mainly for Ryan's sake. If you feel like being jealous that's okay too.
Ooh and Pinky Links wrote about me and Jona and Steven! They're so nice!
Also, my latest eBay score came today, saving what was a borderline bad day and neatly turning it right around. I had to take a picture of them mainly for Ryan's sake. If you feel like being jealous that's okay too.
Ooh and Pinky Links wrote about me and Jona and Steven! They're so nice!
neil hamburger & craigslist adventures
I never go on myspace anymore but for some reason I clicked on something and it took me to myspace and there was video of Lance Armstrong's beady heartless life-sized eyes LOOKING and MOVING and BLINKING. I am really done with myspace now.
I found these clips of Neil Hamburger on Tim & Eric's Awesome Show Great Job! and I love them so so much.
Gregg and Simone and JP and I all like to send each other disturbing non-traditional craigslist personals. Enjoy/be traumatized at your own risk.
I found these clips of Neil Hamburger on Tim & Eric's Awesome Show Great Job! and I love them so so much.
Gregg and Simone and JP and I all like to send each other disturbing non-traditional craigslist personals. Enjoy/be traumatized at your own risk.
ryan stories of the day
Things Ryan Emailed Me Today, Part XXVIXI:
"I sometimes do a similar, though much more passive stunt, involving jukeboxes. For example, last weekend Jon and I were in Des Moines for his cousin's wedding, which was hella fun and shit. One night we got to go out to this dive bar, well, dive by Iowa standards, if that means anything to you. We had a lot of fun and the people watching was prime...but there were still a bunch of dudes and assholes unified in the classic rock (which I like) block on the jukebox. My stunt: I take ten dollars, and pick 25 songs that are so not going to please the crowd. I didn't get to hear my whole set but right after Black Sabbath and Sammy Haggard came AC/DC's "You Want Blood" with everyone rocking with their hands in the air until my B-52s, Tori Amos, Alanis Morrisette (sp?), Erasure, etc., set took the air out of the room. And I don't pick the favorites, I pick the ones that are totally unfamiliar so even if you like the artist (which they didn't seem to) you wouldn't like/know the song. People did not seem pleased. OR, you can also keep picking the same annoying song over and over and over. I did this once in New York with "Sunglasses at Night" which people liked but for a moment. Then, no more likey."
"I saw a shirt that said, "It won't suck itself," which was gross AND true. "It won't suck itself," I thought to myself. You, or your shirt rather, is correct Sir. "
"I told Jon that this week all the MJ dirt will come out. Now that we've all gotten over the shock, I hope we start hearing some more creepy shit about his life. Why do I love it so? Debbie Rowe, MJ's second wife, says that MJ's kids are not biologically his. REALLY? Duh. They're so not black. But I like that she can admit that now. Poor kids. I hope they can finally live their lives sans feathered Marti Gras masks.
I've been making the following MJ jokes to friends, some of whom think they are funny:
"Now, where will Michael's children get their Jesus juice?"
"How will the sculptor of bronze-cast children support himself?" (MJ had lots of children cast in bronze for his sculpture garden...sadly, not real children.)
"Who's going to get all those delicate, bejeweled blouses?"
"Will the stigma of collecting Shirley Temple memorabilia still be creepy?"
"Budding child stars can't molest themselves, can they?"
Please feel free to add on."
"I sometimes do a similar, though much more passive stunt, involving jukeboxes. For example, last weekend Jon and I were in Des Moines for his cousin's wedding, which was hella fun and shit. One night we got to go out to this dive bar, well, dive by Iowa standards, if that means anything to you. We had a lot of fun and the people watching was prime...but there were still a bunch of dudes and assholes unified in the classic rock (which I like) block on the jukebox. My stunt: I take ten dollars, and pick 25 songs that are so not going to please the crowd. I didn't get to hear my whole set but right after Black Sabbath and Sammy Haggard came AC/DC's "You Want Blood" with everyone rocking with their hands in the air until my B-52s, Tori Amos, Alanis Morrisette (sp?), Erasure, etc., set took the air out of the room. And I don't pick the favorites, I pick the ones that are totally unfamiliar so even if you like the artist (which they didn't seem to) you wouldn't like/know the song. People did not seem pleased. OR, you can also keep picking the same annoying song over and over and over. I did this once in New York with "Sunglasses at Night" which people liked but for a moment. Then, no more likey."
"I saw a shirt that said, "It won't suck itself," which was gross AND true. "It won't suck itself," I thought to myself. You, or your shirt rather, is correct Sir. "
"I told Jon that this week all the MJ dirt will come out. Now that we've all gotten over the shock, I hope we start hearing some more creepy shit about his life. Why do I love it so? Debbie Rowe, MJ's second wife, says that MJ's kids are not biologically his. REALLY? Duh. They're so not black. But I like that she can admit that now. Poor kids. I hope they can finally live their lives sans feathered Marti Gras masks.
I've been making the following MJ jokes to friends, some of whom think they are funny:
"Now, where will Michael's children get their Jesus juice?"
"How will the sculptor of bronze-cast children support himself?" (MJ had lots of children cast in bronze for his sculpture garden...sadly, not real children.)
"Who's going to get all those delicate, bejeweled blouses?"
"Will the stigma of collecting Shirley Temple memorabilia still be creepy?"
"Budding child stars can't molest themselves, can they?"
Please feel free to add on."
the christian agnostic
I found this article by David Dark, Insert Soul Here. I appreciate him so much. It almost scares me how much he is able to say the things I've been thinking, but says them much better, and I'm so glad he's getting other people thinking too. And incidentally the article after his is an interview with Dave Bazan.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
about me
I cry at episodes of Say Yes To The Dress and at infant baptisms, and I can't get enough of this video (especially the guy with the halter top and banana clip).
Tonight my lover-ly friend Edna had a spa baby shower (for her 5th baby!) and we had pedicures and massages and sang karaoke. I sang Baby Got Back with Sheree and I don't mean to brag but...we did not need the teleprompter at all, that's right. Then I sang I'll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men and all I have to say about that is, I can clear a room.
Tonight my lover-ly friend Edna had a spa baby shower (for her 5th baby!) and we had pedicures and massages and sang karaoke. I sang Baby Got Back with Sheree and I don't mean to brag but...we did not need the teleprompter at all, that's right. Then I sang I'll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men and all I have to say about that is, I can clear a room.
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