whenever I wear the wolf shirt I have a lot less issues with involuntary urination

Lauren sent me this link to wolf shirt reviews on Amazon last week and the next day Simone sent me the same one. It's that funny! Scroll down and read the reviews, and know that my old coworker Hammerhead used to wear these shirts without irony. And she also had issues with involuntary urination, come to think of it. Oh you haven't read them yet. Well that might be my favorite part of all the reviews, just so you know, it's the line "Whenever I wear the wolf shirt I have a lot less issues with involuntary urination." You can look forward to that one, you'll love it.

So, I don't know when I'll get used to crying in front of my therapist. Does anyone know when and if that happens? Today she actually cried with me which was a nice surprise and a bit surreal, but healing too, to have someone share your pain like that. It was a good session (because anything I pay $85 for is good by default or at least sheer willpower on my part) but now my contacts feel goopy cause I cried in them. But you don't wear contacts so you can't know this miserable feeling of goop on your corneas. And I can't get home and take them out till 7 pm which is when I'll get home from work...blah. The ends I go to, y'all. Paying to cry in front of someone, taking public transportation, and working late because of it, me and my first-world problems.


Don't you love this Black Apple print of the Morrissey lyric?

kevin the bear

Lolly took this picture of her bear, Kevin, this morning. Kevin is a big part of all our lives. If we can't find Kevin at bedtime, it is a problem.

She took this picture and I like how it came out looking gauzy. I don't know how she did that but I think it was unintentional. I like to put pictures in Picnik and then not say that's how I got that effect. I have been trying to keep it a secret but Simone busted me and it is pretty gay not to share the goods. So everyone...Picnik is fun! Also there's Splashup and Phoenix that are supposed to be good. Is anyone out there good with Photoshop? It looks expensive and I hear it's kinda hard, what do you guys think? I love the D-lighting effect on my camera and I need to learn my way around the rest of my camera but how does a working mom find the time, ahhh. Story of my life.

Last night we saw Neil Hamburger & Pleaseeasaur at the Triple Door, it was so fun and I think it was the best I've ever seen Neil! Simone got some great pictures and mine were...blurry.

It's pretty out again today in Seattle. This is weird. I love it, and it is weird.

mr. blue sky please tell us why

It's sunny, and I kind of don't know how to handle it.

I just saw this review of this book by my current favorite writer, David Dark.

craigslist personals and yahoo answers

Curated from killorn. Click to make bigger so you can really get the full effect.

things my boss said today

The check boxes are immaterial.

36410 is the subject lineage.

If anyone doesn't know how to save an email to My Documents, just ask. Don't be embarrassed.

I'm going on vacation next week. To hell.

maria bamford alert!

I was listening to this Adam Carolla podcast and realized Maria Bamford is on it! She's playing a Republican wife. I'm dying.

sunny

cal anderson park


shoeses



racheal, kiddo & lolly



bazan house show in magnolia
(someone asked "where do you go when you close your eyes?")

yippee ki yay, mini sirloin burgers!

Simone speaks highly of this mini-sirlion burger commercial and now, so do I. Judah and I just watched it twice in a row.



And, Steven charted what he actually does at work. I think I am in love with this graph.

keith olberman's commentary

"That's some kind of wind! Satan's wind!"

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

nuh-uh

(Photo via Killorn)

cock shot

how casinos work

My husband's coworker made this video for a presentation he gave a 5th grade class last week. I think it's kind of great.

a mess

This day is so hard. The end.

epic podcast & more life-giving emails

This Adam Carolla podcast made me wheeze and contort and stomp and hit things, it is so funny. I listen to it every day but the one from May 4 with Jim Florentine has the story that made me laugh that hard. It starts about the 45 minute mark. I couldn't breathe and was pounding on my desk and hyperventilating.

From Lauren:

"This review of a Dairy Queen is like my favorite thing ever, and I don't know why."


"Tyra just said "outer body experience" on Top Model."

From Shane:

"I think it would be pretty weird to get a body part chopped off. But a leg would be my choice if I got to choose. You can wear pants and a prosthetic and you are all good. I had a teacher in high school that lost both of his legs in a motorcycle accident. Nobody really new until one day he was standing at the board and his LEG FELL OFF!!!! Everyone FREAKED OUT!!!! Some of the girls in class ran out in to the hallway. I am pretty sure he did it on purpose to be funny. He was a very dark person - but hilarious! He just laughed and laughed and so did I. Then he stopped really fast and looked at me and said all angry "what. you think it is funny to be an amputee" And I said no, but that it was funny that his leg fell off. And then he laughed some more. That was a good time. I still laugh about that sometimes. I really loved that teacher, too. I mean... lets face it, it was math so I was pretty much asleep the entire time, but I just loved that storm cloud that was always over his head. He had a big bushy black beard, too. One time I asked him if he ever felt like a pirate. You know... the beard, the missing legs. He was not really amused on the outside, but I bet you anything he would still remember me to this day if he hasn't killed himself by now. He seemed the type."

From Jona:

"Omg someone TOTALLY DESTROYED the womens bathroom at work today. Really. It was so stinky I couldn't even stand to hide in there and play games on my phone. Also she pissed her neon pee all over the seat! Jeez! I'd like to know who did it so I'm on the lookout for a really careless coworker who is eating a jalapeno dog meat sandwich and drinking fluorescent yellow finger paint."

More from Mona:

"For lunch we went to Chipotle, but I got a sandwich first and brought it there because their food always makes me ralph."

"Jeff and I just ran giggling down the hall to avoid being seen by our tardbarn coworker. It was youthful and refreshing. Now I'm preparing for 2.5 more hours of Intertubing."

"At lunch I went to get passport photos cause mine expires in a couple weeks. My photo turned out kind of hot! I wish I could use it for all my IDs."

From Simone:

"Gregg told me about this ridiculous "Developing Story" (image attached) on CNN and I was so mad, I wrote them a letter. He sent it to his friend and he thought Gregg photoshopped it!"

but officer...

Awhile ago while we were driving I was talking about how I love the Benefit lipstick color called "But Officer!" David said that they should put him in charge of naming lipstick colors and then came up with these. I wrote them down, see?

Chard Flag
Tortise Wiener
Chrome-a-tose
Ejaculavender
Tire Tread Red
Furbiscus
Blue Balls
Hindenberg

that's about right

jovan musk & podcast searches

I get so much entertainment from emails. I should immortalize bits of my sweet friends' life-giving emails here. Today I will highlight someone who wants to remain anonymous and so we'll call her Mona. Here are some recent clandestine email quotes from the undercover Mona:

"Last night I was scoping out the laundry room and I met my hot neighbor who was leaving his apartment. He said his name was...Jovin? I couldn't figure it out. It made me think of Jovan Musk. He lives partially below me and said to let him know any time he was too noisy and I said WILL DO and we laughed and laughed! Then I vomited in the washer."

"What are you dong now? I just ate a sandwich from the dining hall called a 'Rachel.' It had turkey, swiss and coleslaw, and light fringey layers about the face."

"People are jerks. That's what I learned from blogging!"

/end quote portion of entry

I sometimes (okay, always) become filled with ennui at work even though I actually like my job usually/overall so I roam the internet seeking to devour podcasts, any podcast, but so many are so boring I want to rip my face off and that is what I am wanting to avoid doing in the first place. But today my friend Tom told me about Your Favorite Little Podcast and I thought that was a risky name, but it turns out it IS my favorite little podcast! Well, I’ve only listened to one but I was smiling the whole time. The one I listened to was episode 15 and it was all loungey or 50s theme songs & it has a Lawrence Welk-y cover of “Young Girl. ” Jackpot! That song by itself cracks me up cause it’s so creepy and to hear it in this Welkish version was the best. Seriously, listen to the words. Why? WHY?

More podcast fun and wonderful friend quotes to come. Kay bye!

tulips & jelly roll cake

unicorn planet!

may mix

I finished my May mix yesterday, I think I sent it to the usual suspects but if I left you out give me a holler.