epic podcast & more life-giving emails

This Adam Carolla podcast made me wheeze and contort and stomp and hit things, it is so funny. I listen to it every day but the one from May 4 with Jim Florentine has the story that made me laugh that hard. It starts about the 45 minute mark. I couldn't breathe and was pounding on my desk and hyperventilating.

From Lauren:

"This review of a Dairy Queen is like my favorite thing ever, and I don't know why."


"Tyra just said "outer body experience" on Top Model."

From Shane:

"I think it would be pretty weird to get a body part chopped off. But a leg would be my choice if I got to choose. You can wear pants and a prosthetic and you are all good. I had a teacher in high school that lost both of his legs in a motorcycle accident. Nobody really new until one day he was standing at the board and his LEG FELL OFF!!!! Everyone FREAKED OUT!!!! Some of the girls in class ran out in to the hallway. I am pretty sure he did it on purpose to be funny. He was a very dark person - but hilarious! He just laughed and laughed and so did I. Then he stopped really fast and looked at me and said all angry "what. you think it is funny to be an amputee" And I said no, but that it was funny that his leg fell off. And then he laughed some more. That was a good time. I still laugh about that sometimes. I really loved that teacher, too. I mean... lets face it, it was math so I was pretty much asleep the entire time, but I just loved that storm cloud that was always over his head. He had a big bushy black beard, too. One time I asked him if he ever felt like a pirate. You know... the beard, the missing legs. He was not really amused on the outside, but I bet you anything he would still remember me to this day if he hasn't killed himself by now. He seemed the type."

From Jona:

"Omg someone TOTALLY DESTROYED the womens bathroom at work today. Really. It was so stinky I couldn't even stand to hide in there and play games on my phone. Also she pissed her neon pee all over the seat! Jeez! I'd like to know who did it so I'm on the lookout for a really careless coworker who is eating a jalapeno dog meat sandwich and drinking fluorescent yellow finger paint."

More from Mona:

"For lunch we went to Chipotle, but I got a sandwich first and brought it there because their food always makes me ralph."

"Jeff and I just ran giggling down the hall to avoid being seen by our tardbarn coworker. It was youthful and refreshing. Now I'm preparing for 2.5 more hours of Intertubing."

"At lunch I went to get passport photos cause mine expires in a couple weeks. My photo turned out kind of hot! I wish I could use it for all my IDs."

From Simone:

"Gregg told me about this ridiculous "Developing Story" (image attached) on CNN and I was so mad, I wrote them a letter. He sent it to his friend and he thought Gregg photoshopped it!"

but officer...

Awhile ago while we were driving I was talking about how I love the Benefit lipstick color called "But Officer!" David said that they should put him in charge of naming lipstick colors and then came up with these. I wrote them down, see?

Chard Flag
Tortise Wiener
Chrome-a-tose
Ejaculavender
Tire Tread Red
Furbiscus
Blue Balls
Hindenberg

that's about right

jovan musk & podcast searches

I get so much entertainment from emails. I should immortalize bits of my sweet friends' life-giving emails here. Today I will highlight someone who wants to remain anonymous and so we'll call her Mona. Here are some recent clandestine email quotes from the undercover Mona:

"Last night I was scoping out the laundry room and I met my hot neighbor who was leaving his apartment. He said his name was...Jovin? I couldn't figure it out. It made me think of Jovan Musk. He lives partially below me and said to let him know any time he was too noisy and I said WILL DO and we laughed and laughed! Then I vomited in the washer."

"What are you dong now? I just ate a sandwich from the dining hall called a 'Rachel.' It had turkey, swiss and coleslaw, and light fringey layers about the face."

"People are jerks. That's what I learned from blogging!"

/end quote portion of entry

I sometimes (okay, always) become filled with ennui at work even though I actually like my job usually/overall so I roam the internet seeking to devour podcasts, any podcast, but so many are so boring I want to rip my face off and that is what I am wanting to avoid doing in the first place. But today my friend Tom told me about Your Favorite Little Podcast and I thought that was a risky name, but it turns out it IS my favorite little podcast! Well, I’ve only listened to one but I was smiling the whole time. The one I listened to was episode 15 and it was all loungey or 50s theme songs & it has a Lawrence Welk-y cover of “Young Girl. ” Jackpot! That song by itself cracks me up cause it’s so creepy and to hear it in this Welkish version was the best. Seriously, listen to the words. Why? WHY?

More podcast fun and wonderful friend quotes to come. Kay bye!

tulips & jelly roll cake

unicorn planet!

may mix

I finished my May mix yesterday, I think I sent it to the usual suspects but if I left you out give me a holler.