you are tearing me apart, lisa!

A Time online article about my favorite awful movie The Room. I will not rest until I've spread its gospel far and wide!

these seem like a SNL commercial but i think they're real

warm lighting

I've been looking for something to replace our circa 1988 ceiling fan/light combo in the dining room. Even this would be an improvement. (via Modern Urban Living)

mysterious whispers, part 3

*I obtained permission to partially identify Friend #1 and Friend #2! I know your curiousity is quelled.*

(Written by me)
And check it out I would. Though I couldn't let Jovan know my intentions this early in the game. I would have to play coy like Luann deLesseps aka The Countess told Bethany to do on the Real Housewives of New York. That is how you bag a man, she said. I tossed my auburn-ish hair over my shoulder and lowered my gaze before going in for the kill.

"Maybe...I will," I said, reeking with mystery. He was so intrigued he furrowed his brow and tried to act like he was done pouring detergent into the washer.

(Written by OfficeGnome)
I grabbed my parachute and headed upstairs to hang it up to dry on the long, thick, glistening rod in my bathroom. I've always found that air-drying fabrics above my bathdub is the best way to keep them looking their best.

The basement steps creaked below me as I made the difficult ascent back to the main floor of the building. My calves throbbed and I made a mental note to do some Wii Fit when I got back to the apartment. I caught a glance of my Swatch and was thrilled to see it was finally 2pm. 2pm meant that our mailman had probably arrived with the Saturday delivery. I wondered if the magazine issue I had been waiting for had arrived? As I skipped toward the building's mail area, I realized I wasn't alone. Standing in front of the brass mailboxes was my next-door neighbor nemesis - Nancy.

(Written by Carrie)
"Oh, hello Nancy," I said coolly. Nancy rotated around slowly to face me. She had just extracted her mail pile from the cold industrial depths of the mailbox interior. Her cane rested against the wall.

"Hello dear," she rasped. As she had turned around, a letter had wafted out of the pile of mail, floating to the ground like a delicate Japanese wishing flower. "Let me get that for you," I said coldly, snatching it up and offering it to her forcefully. Before she could accept it, my eyes landed on the text in the sharp crisp clear letter window: "JOVAN ____." Like a lynx discovering her prey, I snatched the letter back from Nancy's reaching claw-like hands. Jovan Musk's mail!! I could bring it to him personally!

"OH!" I exclaimed. "I-I just noticed that this letter is actually addressed to me. It must have gotten into the wrong box. That happens all the time, you know."

Nancy stared unblinkingly with wet eyes and said "Oh that's fine dear." Satisfied with my clever heist, I smugly retrieved my own mail. I would have to look at it once I was back in my apartment, lest I waste another precious minute in Nancy's presence. I clutched the supple pile of slippery documents to my chest, turned abruptly on my heel, and muttered goodbye.

another facebook event

David's friend had this as his Facebook status today. *jaw drop* David replied, wonder that that guy will say back. Sucks.

simon's cat

We love Simon's Cat as much as the kids do. It's not often we all like the same stuff equally.

recent quotes from the kids

R: "I will wash my wookie off." (wookie is code for cowlick)

J to R while playing MarioKart: "This may help you in the future when you're learning to drive when you're 16."

R: "David is short for David. And you know what is really short for David? Dih."

J: "Barack Obama set a world record for being the first African-American president. And he also set the record for being the first black president."

R: "I keep ants I find in this box and then take them outside and let them go to a new life."

R: "The timer takes too long for me!" (when I set the timer for her to play Wii in 5 minutes)

J: "This natural peanut butter tastes weird. I like things that aren't natural. I wish it was zero percent natural."

R: "Where's the room service?" (just before takeoff when she wanted to flight attendants to bring us drinks. She also buckled Pluto into the empty seat next to her.)

R: "I have good news and bad news. Actually, I have two bad newses and no good newses."

J: "I wouldn't keep a secret away from you."

betty butterfield

We're back from LA and I miss it and Simone and Jona. (Jona, your url is broken but I'm linking you anyway). Here we are with Richard Simmons, who sang happy birthday to Jona


and here also is Betty Butterfield who Jona quotes endlessly and perfectly and it makes me laugh so hard I roll around and hit things.