two for thursday

For was a little while in 11th grade I listened to Hey Bulldog every day.



My favorite Leonard Cohen song, 'The Future.' (Added bonus: it starts like every Wesley Willis song does.)



Give me back my broken night
my mirrored room, my secret life
it's lonely here, there's no one left to torture
Give me absolute control
over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby,
that's an order!

Give me crack and anal sex
Take the only tree that's left
and stuff it up the hole in your culture
Give me back the Berlin wall
give me Stalin and St Paul
I've seen the future, brother: it is murder

Things are going to slide, slide in all directions
Won't be nothing
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
has crossed the threshold
and it has overturned
the order of the soul

When they said "Repent, repent"
I wonder what they meant

You don't know me from the wind
you never will, you never did
I'm the little Jew who wrote the Bible
I've seen the nations rise and fall
I've heard their stories, heard them all
but love's the only engine of survival

Your servant here, he has been told
to say it clear, to say it cold:
It's over, it ain't going any further

And now the wheels of heaven stop
you feel the devil's riding crop
Get ready for the future: it is murder

There'll be the breaking of the ancient western code
Your private life will suddenly explode
There'll be phantoms
There'll be fires on the road
and the white man dancing
You'll see a woman hanging upside down
her features covered by her fallen gown
and all the lousy little poets coming round
tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson
and the white man dancin'

Give me back the Berlin wall
Give me Stalin and St Paul
Give me Christ
or give me Hiroshima
Destroy another fetus now
We don't like children anyhow
I've seen the future, baby:
it is murder

Things are going to slide ...

bill o'reilly vs. richard dawkins

Hmm. Bill is kind of restrained actually towrds the middle but starts name-calling near the end and getting dismissive.

I like Richard and his points are valid. Bill is valid too in what he says he believes but when he gets agro...that's when he loses me and makes me feel really sad. It's not okay to dismiss people like that. That's where a big disconnect lies between people who aren't Christians and how they perceive Christians, and often for good reason.

quote of the day

"She sent me a friend request, so we could "keep in touch" and she could "pray for me." I've yet to accept, but I probably will. Give crazy Christians and inkling of honesty, and those bitches will pray all over you! God damn!" --Chrissy

being/becoming

I get a healthy amount of disgruntled comments at my other blog but yesterday I had a redeeming one. It was actually in response to a disgruntled comment on the pipe smoking post. The disgruntled comment was left by someone named Andrew and it said

"Wow, just finished looking over the blog, some of the stuff is pretty correct.
But still, what the hell do you think you are doing? I'm a believer but still,
are you approaching addressing Christians/"Christians" in a way as to which they
will grow from what you are saying or are you just pointing out, sometimes
rudely, the inconsistencies in people's lives without saying why this is bad or
can be fixed? Paul said I'm the first/greatest among sinners, did you write all
this with that attitude? In Christ's love.... oh wait, I just fit the stereotype
didn't I? Way to put Christians in a box. 2 points for you."

I get sad when I people leave comments like that, but then a comment was left that showed that some people do get my blog. Someone named Chrissy wrote

"Andrew, Stephy did not put Christians in a box. Christians did. She merely
points out that there IS a box in which many Christians live. Because you agree
with her observations, you are validating the evidence. Many times that box
confines us to simplicity. We are not liberated if we believe we must conform
ourselves to fit into the box. When I tried to fit the image that Christian
culture presented, I forgot who God created me to be. I was playing a role. I
was not free. Personally, I relate to this blog very much. The entries bring to
light the image that Christians are told they should fit. They point out things
that distracted me from being content in Christ's righteousness. I was trying to
perfect my own righteousness by climbing an elusive spiritual ladder that led
nowhere. When it disintegrated, I found I was home, on the ground, with Christ
where He comforts the weary. I assure you, Stephy does not write to deter people
from Christ. She writes to expose the trends which distract us from Christ, but
are performed in the name of Christ. They are harmful, half-truths that lead to
the term "cookie cutter Christian." Christ didn't come to make cookies. He came
to free human beings, shedding His blood, and conquering death that we might
live. It is "Good News!" If it means I have to conform to the cookie cutter
image, the news becomes very average. It means I must not be me. So, what the
hell is Stephy doing? She is "shedding light in hidden places." She uses humor
to share the observations that so many of us have experienced. We find kindred
spirits here. And we laugh together. Do not condemn us. "Laughter is good
medicine." Lord knows we need it! Life is so hard."

The feeling of being understood is amazing and I'm so glad to have found other people who are like me in this...this thing I've been dealing with for so long.

and this is why i fucking hate martha stewart

Geez, are my issues showing? But everything Martha does gives me shocks of PTSD. I just found this in Vanity Fair.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A verdant landscape filled with beautiful animals of all kinds, harp music, cumulus clouds in a bright-blue sky, and happy people conversing pleasantly, sipping cold sake from homemade bamboo cups. —Martha Stewart, Vanity Fair, November 2009

kenny shopsin

A few months ago we watched this documentary called "I Like Killing Flies." It's a bad title for something great (like with Mad Men) but it's about a restaurant in Greenwich Village and the guy who runs it, and some people say he's who the Soup Nazi is based on. We loved the documentary and then last week I got his book (at Carrie's recommendation), his book is called Eat Me and I read it all right away.



Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book -

"Customers in this country have been raised to believe that they are "always right." Their neuroses are coddled and their misbehaviors are tolerated for their patronage and their money by every restaurateur in America. But not by me. My approach at Shopsin's is the exact opposite of "the customer is always right." Until I know the people, until they show me that they are worth cultivating as customers, I'm not even sure I want their patronage."

"The brilliance of my restaurant is my ability to control my clientele. The thing that makes my restaurant special is my relationships and interactions with my customers—and the way they relate and interact with one another. With the wrong people here, those interactions don't happen, so to keep the wrong people out when I don't like them. I probably axe at least one party every day—and usually more than that."

"I enjoy cooking and giving what I can to my customers, and, in turn, my customers don't just enjoy giving me money, they enjoy receiving what I have given them. Once we've established a rapport, we're absolute equals in my restaurant. But I guess I shouldn't expect newcomers to understand this. In all fairness, they're right and I'm the asshole, because my way is hardly the traditional you-give-me-the-money-I-give-you-a-bagel. I want more from them. I want a relationship."

"I had an employee working for me named Jimmy, a skinny, dynamic, diabetic black guy with a Sammy Davis Jr. face. Jimmy had a girlfriend named Elaine who was really fat. When the Health Department came out with new regulations, I sent her down to take the inspections course for me. I hated the Health Department even back then. I think I'd rather go out of business than take that fucking course. People said "How can you have her take the test for you? She can't pass for you." But she was perfect. Who the hell is going to ask a 300-pound black lady if she's Kenny Shopsin?"

"Bacon pancakes remind me of pussy. When you press the cooked bacon into the raw pancake batter, it really likes to sink in. When you flip the pancakes back to serve them bacon side up, the bacon is in there, enveloped by soft walls. It's really very sexy."

"I used to make turkey dinners every day. My beautiful turkeys were everything that fresh food could be. Sadly, it is now a thing of the past, because one day, some prick from the Health Department came in, looked at the turkey sitting up there on its shelf, and said, "Is it 140 or 40?" meaning over 140 degrees or under 40 degrees. It's the law. Everything in a restaurant has to be either super fucking hot or super fucking cold. Well, it wasn't either. It was sitting out at room temperature as it did every day. Nobody ever got sick from my turkey or anything else in my restaurant. But the Health Department took that gorgeous brown juicy Norman Rockwell bird, threw it in the trash, and poured Palmolive on it. . . I like to think I won my battle with those Health Department pricks, because I am still doing what I like to do."

"I often compare my ideas about cooking to the children's book "Goodnight Moon" where the little boy discovers that everything he needs is in his life already, right in his own room. In a Goodnight Moon world, it's pretty easy to be a good home cook. It's really not about having some terrific skills or exotic ingredients or expensive equipment, or even the right recipe. To be a good cook, to turn out good, honest food that satisfies your individual tastes, it is all about having the kind of confidence and self-awareness that comes from Goodnight Moon living, in which you are happy with what is already in your life."

space needle & the market

lolly's pet puppy (it's low maintenance)

my sister jenny visited from chicago

aunt jenny made flourless chocolate cake with them

adam carolla on weathermen

things my friend's dad yelled during the huskies game

(My friend wrote down stuff her dad yelled at the TV during the Huskies game. She said this was about a quarter and a half's worth, chronologically).


Come on, take it in, Huskies!

They make the same fucking mistakes they make every fucking time!

Look-at-this-look-at-this!!! HA HA HA HO HO!!!

Come on, get outside get outside-! Ohhhhh brother. What a wimpy run.

[standing up close to the screen] OH SHIT--[politely] Oh, thank you. [accepts coffee]

False starts are gonna take 'em right outta the field goal range here!!

[very loud] GOT 'EM! Whoa-HO!!!!!

[quietly] he didn't make it [louder] Shit OHHHHHH SHIT. Goddamn you Huskies!!! Oh NO! Jeeeesus Christ, you guys [groan] I can see where this is heading...

[sincerely] Well, this is FUN! It's really startin' to look like these guys could beat Notre Dame!

Ohhhhh now shit you guys, you GOTTA get this ball, ohhhhh [breaks off into faux sobbing noises]. AH NO!!! Now how can you not catch that ball?!?!

He's got it!...OH FUCK

[very loud, very serious] I can't believe this. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. This is UNBELIEVABLE.

[happily] Automatic first down! Ahhhh yes! [clap] Here we go!

[very, very loud, standing up close to the screen] JESUS CHRIST!!!! YOUUU....SUCK!!! FUCK YOU, HUSKIES!!!!

[angrily] I wasted my WHOLE afternoon watching this game!

[pleasantly, sincerely] Boy, if they could pull this off, I'd be the happiest guy in Seattle.

[stomps outside to mow the lawn] I am NEVER watching those Huskies AGAIN!!!!!


end

youtube videos i watched twice each today

(Mick from Supergrass tweeted this)

i catch the world in the headlights of my justice!