two gay guys fighting in the middle of a highway

tiffani-amber lesion

I don't know why I've been writing here so much lately, it must be extra boring at work. Anyway, as some of you know I make a mix cd every month, yes, every month with the timed precision of the mortgage payment and a pregnancy scare. I've finished my November mix and now I want to figure out how to load it onto iTunes so people can partake at will...but I'm too tired.

Skitzo Dancer (Justice Remix) by Scenario Rock
Koka-Kola Veins by The Tough Alliance
No Diggity by Klaxons
Guava by Ray Rivera
So Lonely Without You by Betty Crutcher
Slippin' Into Darkness by War
Scythian Empires by Andrew Bird
Good To Sea by Pinback
Melody Day by Caribou
Nantes by Beirut
On Call by Kings of Leon
Shabop Shalom by Devendra Barnhart
I Saw Her in the Anti-War Demonstration by Jens Lekman
Let's Call It Off by Peter Bjorn & John
Maybe Lately by Miracle Fortress
Anemone by Brian Jonestown Massacre
Higher Than The Sun by Primal Scream
Void by The Mary Onettes
Don't You Evah by Spoon
Beethoven's Fifth Gold Digger (mashup) by A Plus D
Paper Planes by M.I.A.

Lara said she hates her algebra class and I said I hated algebra too, and then she went "How did YOU get through college, anyway?" She was very serious and it was so funny. It's a good question, actually. And I finished in 4 years, isn't that supposed to be an anomaly? I don't know how that happened. Then Lara made a list of why she is surprised I graduated.

reasons how i am astonished that you got thru college:
you hate people telling you what to do, you hate getting up early, you hate homework, you can always find something better to do, you would rather talk about makeup, you often have a hard time finding places (classrooms) even if you have been there before.....

Look it's Rainn Wilson in a rumpled suit on a plastic toy making me choke from laughing!

thxgvg

I'm so excited about Thanksgiving, Bobby & Julie are coming up from San Francisco and I can't wait. During a meeting at work today I drew all the stuff I'm going to cook so I could get a visual. Here's the meeting handout I drew on, I'm going to show you what a dork I am just in case you weren't clear.



We've been writing down what we're thankful for and putting it in a jar and at Thanksgiving dinner we'll read them. Tonight Lolly said she is thankful for Addie's birthday party that is coming up, and Judah "I'm thankful for our house...and turkey...and Bobby and Julie coming here.'

Simone has been thinking up new Harry Potter Jelly Belly flavors which I guess are gross, the Harry Potter thing is one of the few bits of pop culture I'm not really interested in, but anyway David came up with some flavors of his own and they made me laugh so hard I was coughing. Here are my personal favorites of his:

Margarine

German Shepherd

Cream of Federline

Aluminum Fork

Dysen-Teri Schiavo

Menthol

Flintstone Vitamin

Tuna Melt

Yellow Curry

Wet Cigar

Aspirin Schnapps

Shower drain hair clump

Warm jog bra

Lee Press-On nail

Throbbing Diaper

Underwear Sand

Seaweed 'n Foreskin

Retirement Home Bathwater

Moth Flitting in Ranch Dressing

Meatloaf Dishrag

Soiled Cucumber

Tiffani-Amber Lesion

Vulture Yogurt

Pants Pudding

Productive cough

Nicole Ritchie

what do you get when you cross elton john with a sabre-tooth tiger?

Simone sent me this picture of Jack Black picketing in Judah’s favorite Neil Hamburger shirt.



Here's Judah wearing his.



He wishes I would allow him to wear it to kindergarden.

i'm the pterodactyl whisperer

We were watching Flight of the Conchords and they have a superfan who stalks them and annoys them like crazy. I saw myself in her and started saying “Oh no, Supergrass hates me.” Then the stalker’s husband said from the car “Can we go now honey? It’s cold out here.” David said “Ha ha, that's you and Supergrass, and that is totally me sitting in that car!” But I know he likes them as much as I do, he is just not vocal about it. He said “I wonder what Supergrass thinks about their three biggest fans being two married chicks and a lesbian?” (meaning me and the two other psycho uber fans we know.) We decided that their girlfriends are probably happy about it. (Here is a clip of Flight of the Conchords, their stalker appears about 2 ½ minutes into it.)



My coworker who used to be a barista told me today to order a chai latte made with egg nog. I cannot wait to try this. Chai nog! I just love the word nog. Okay, this his how she said to order it: a tall (or whatever size), no water, eggnog chai tea latte please. Ha ha, she specified to say please. I never say chai tea, just chai cause I figure that means tea so it seems like saying "chai tea" is like saying "PIN number" or something. Hmm. I have to ask her about my paranoia of asking for lattes to be 130 degrees. It won't burn your callow mouth parts at 130 degrees, but I'm afraid of being the harried uppity soccer mom bossing around the barista with a million tiny coffee specifications while she's trying to contain her Heelys-wearing kids and herd them into her Yukon.

Carrie just told me about this Texas restaurant in Ballard! Nilla wafer banana pudding and barbecue breakfast tacos! And they have Shiner Bock! I’ve never found that anywhere up here and it's the only beer I really like. I like the quote about their chicken fried steak: “You have to tenderize the living shit out of it.” And also cook it in Crisco, I say. I don’t tenderize it myself but I have the butcher run it through the cuber. That makes sure it’s perfect. Yee haw!

mommy all-time career high

I got the best letter from Rilian's preschool teacher. She goes to Judah's old preschool and he's a big kindergardener now, but he didn't have school yesterday so he helped out at preschool. His teacher sent me this and I'm so happy I just have to post it.

Stephanie,
I was going to email you about Judah. We loved having him help in class today! He came in with the attitude, "I'm a helper. I'm not here to play." Erin dumped rice all over the floor and Judah spend forever sweeping it up. He kept asking what he could do. At circle time he answered questions about Joseph and his colorful coat and when we were singing the younger kids kept looking at him as their example. He was so grown up! I remember his first day of preschool when he and Eowyn dumped cornmeal all over the floor and jumped up and down in it. He's come full circle! And his feet are almost as big as mine! (Quite the stylish shoes by the way.)
I don't know if Rilian told you but Erin pulled the back of her hair today. At circle time Rilian wasn't sitting on her animal spot so Erin was trying to get her to sit using unconventional methods. It didn't even seem to faze Rilian. You can tell she's used to being around other kids because she's definitely not a wimp and sticks up for herself.
You and David have done such a great job with your kids. You should be proud!
Joan

learned helplessness

Lee said this today and it was so funny and timely.

Learned helplessness is nasty, pervasive, and tiring to deal with. And I'm probably being generous in my application of the label—rather than true learned helplessness, sometimes people just want the world to participate in their fixations and narcissism, making any deviation from the pictures in their heads into incomprehensible, insurmountable obstacles.


Prescription: high dosage of Cope & Deal, with a tall glass of Shut The Hell Up to be ingested until said dosage takes full effect.

I want to be better at identifying harmful people. The line is blurry for me but I'm trying to get better. Why can't I just STOPPIT!?